


vain

by 95leo



Category: AB6IX (Band), MXM (Band)
Genre: But not explicit, Cheating, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, a lot of kissing and cuddling, angst... sorry, fastburn, just really whatever idk either, no smut though, there's fluff too!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27270355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/95leo/pseuds/95leo
Summary: a "if you need someone to love you while he's gone, baby you've got my number" kind of au
Relationships: Kim Donghyun/Lim Youngmin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> got this from a prompt on twitter so if you happen to see this.. hey~ 
> 
> (i know i should be updating my other one but i'm having a really bad writer's block on that one i'm sorry.. but i'll promise to update soon!)

youngmin and donghyun met almost two years ago.

the first time, it was at a class dinner. donghyun wasn't even a dance major so they always laugh about it whenever they talk of it. youngmin was out of the restaurant to take a breather from all the noises inside and was resting againts the wall with his phone in his hand when a guy came looking all confused.

"hey, sorry to bother you but dance major kids are having a dinner inside, right?" was the first thing the guy had said to him. youngmin simply nodded and went back to his phone before the guy spoke again. "do you know jeon woong?"

"it sounds familiar but i can't remember the face" youngmin answered.

he nodded and lean on the wall too, mirroring youngmin. youngmin lets him do that without saying anything so they stood there in silence until he got a call.

"yeah, i'm outside. please come out now because i'm tired" he said, as monotonously as possible, completely different from the way he was speaking to youngmin earlier.

few moments later, a guy walked outside, obviously too drunk to even walk straight. donghyun quickly went to him, offering support by wrapping one of his hand around his waist. "donghyun~ thank you for coming" when the guy saw youngmin, he smiled, "oh, youngmin! i'll leave first. thank you for coming~" he slurred.

youngmin, in much confusion, nodded and smiled back halfheartedly. he looked at donghyun, who's wearing an exhausted and pitiful look, and offered a small smile at him, one that could be interpreted as _i pray for you._ it cracked donghyun up a bit, or so because his face lighten up and he smiled back sweetly before actually leaving.

the second time it was during lunch time at the university. youngmin usually eat big breakfast and skip lunch to practice at the practice room. it's an everyday thing for him. he was almost finished on a routine when the door suddenly bursted open and a familiar face came into view.

"uhm, sorry! i was looking from outside to find my friend and then someone pushed me over.. i didn't mean to lurk, i swear!" donghyun hastily said in panic after regaining composure from tripping. youngmin's shocked expression faltered at donghyun's obvious panic and he chuckled, "it's okay. i don't mind" he said simply. "looking for jeon woong?"

donghyun nodded, eyes hopeful.

"he went out for lunch with the others" youngmin glanced at the wall clock, "and they should be back in a few. if you want to wait" he added as he pointed at the empty resting chair.

"can i do that?" donghyun asked unsure.

youngmin nodded simply before saying, "but i'll be practicing so if you don't mind the noises then yes, you can stay there"

donghyun happily skid to the chair when youngmin spoke again, "can you help me repeat the song?" he pointed at the tablet on the cabinet next to the chair. donghyun nodded and did as told.

youngmin muttered a thanks and started back on his routines while donghyun took out his phone to kill time. until he got distracted. from watching youngmin.

youngmin wasn't particularly doing anything big, he was just warming down with very basic moves. the song playedwasn't really a provocative one either but when he saw the way donghyun was staring from the mirror, it awakened something in him that he started moving more slowly and seductively while looking right at the other.

donghyun probably realised what he was doing at that point onwards but he made no effort to stop staring, instead brought his eyes up to look at youngmin's bravely. they keep staring at each other through the mirror until the door was pushed open and youngmin's friends started coming in.

"donghyun?" someone called and youngmin took a glance, _woong_. the two left the room right after that but youngmin didn't miss the way donghyun was looking back at him with an unexplainable gaze before walking outside, following his friend.

the third time it was complete coincidence. everything that happened too. though coincidence might not be the word to describe it. youngmin went to a bar for a blind date but got stood up instead (which the fault was actually his because who in their sane mind would've agreed to a date at a bar?) so he ended up mindlessly drinking by the counter until someone take the seat next to him without a word and ordered his drink.

he pretended not to care at first because it wasn't foreign for a stranger to randomly sit next to you at a bar until he realised the stranger was donghyun after taking a good look at him from the side. so he stared.

donghyun hadn't noticed him yet as he downed his drink in one shot before asking for another one to the bartender. youngmin was having the time of his life by watching that because maybe, he wasn't the most miserable person for the night. it was until donghyun suddenly turned to him with a raised eyebrow that he turned back to look at the cup in his hands as swiftly and smoothly as possible, though failed because donghyun spoke. "you were staring"

"no, i wasn't" he objected weakly. no power to it at all because donghyun was right.

"wait" donghyun said and scooted closer, staring so intensely at him, "lim youngmin?"

youngmin nodded and donghyun randomly laughed before blurting out. "you're really pretty, do you know that?"

and youngmin blanked as he watched donghyun carefully eyeing his features, from his eyes to his nose and then his lips. his eyes lingered for more than a second on the lips before chuckling. "you dance well too. i really liked the one you did the other day" his words were obviously slurred.

there was a surge inside of youngmin when he saw the way the other was staring at his lips earlier, so he said seductively taunting, "oh really?" donghyun hummed, "what did you like about it?" 

donghyun hummed and paused to think, one finger circling on the side of his head. "i don't know.. just everything? it got me feeling things"

"like what?"

"like how badly i wanted to kiss you then" donghyun answered almost immediately. it's probably the alcohol doing the talking and both boys were pretty wasted, youngmin from his earlier drinks and donghyun.. well, he had been chugging down almost an entire half of the bottle.

youngmin raised his eyebrow challengingly before leaning in close enough for his lips to touch donghyun's, "why don't you kiss me now?" he whispered in a tone that was enough for donghyun to hear through the loud music at the bar.

donghyun hesitated for a while that youngmin almost leaned back in disappointment when he suddenly pull youngmin close again and crashed his lips on his so desperately.

and let's just say.. they didnt end the night with just one kiss.

when youngmin woke up in his bed the next morning with a throbbing headache, he was by himself. so he thought, okay it was just a one time thing. a one night stand. and he didn't dwell on it.

until he saw donghyun again at the cafeteria later that week, staring right at him. with raised eyebrows and a smirk, he stared back at the younger. they had a little staring contest on their own while sitting five tables away from each other until one of donghyun friend called for him and he had to break the stare. youngmin chuckled randomly in victory, donghyun obviously saw that.

they keep on bumping into each other randomly at random places too after that. and they were always staring at one another with no desire to look away even when they got caught by the other.

honestly youngmin had lost count so let's just say the grand finale was when youngmin stayed back to practice. it was almost 9 pm and he was packing up to leave when donghyun suddenly came inside uninvited. it almost felt like deja vu. youngmin stared at him through the mirror for as long as he can remember until donghyun sighed before walking forward to him and asked, "can i please kiss you again?"

and letting his desire and lust take over, youngmin let him. donghyun pushed him onto the mirror before finally crashing his lips on the other's. the kiss was slower than the last time, less messier, almost passionate. donghyun took his time to really savour the feeling of youngmin's lips againts his before he started craving for more that he bit on youngmin's softly. youngmin gasped and donghyun took the chance to slide his tounge inside. they make out for good minutes before pulling away and just stood like that againts the mirror with youngmin trapped between donghyun's arms, both gasping for air.

"why did you leave the other day if you were going to shamelessly come to me like this?" youngmin managed through racked breath. he was petty, yeah.

donghyun makes a confused face, eyebrow raised questioningly before laughing when he realised. "i actually had an appointment the very day so i had to leave early.." he said but youngmin obviously didn't buy that. "i left my phone number, though! why didn't you call at all?"

it was youngmin's turn to make a questioning face, "you did what?"

"left my phone number. i wrote it on a sticky note and put it on your side table"

"you're lying"

the two looked at each other glaringly after that, looking for signs of it being a joke, or a lie but their faces only showed pure confusion. 

"now that explains why you didn't call nor text at all!" donghyun finally say, laughing before adding, "i thought you were the one ghosting on me"

youngmin scoffed and pushed donghyun off him. "you're the one with a boyfriend"

"what boyfriend?" the question rang through the room like lightning because donghyun said it almost as instantly after youngmin was done speaking. youngmin raised one eyebrow mockingly, lips pursued in a sneer.

"i don't have a boyfriend" donghyun said seriously.

before youngmin can reply, donghyun got a call so he excused himself to answer it while youngmin stood there and wait for his conversation to end.

donghyun's tone completely changed upon answering the call, softer and fonder that youngmin huffed quietly. he tried not to eavesdrop after that because it would only make him feel even pettier so he get on with packing up to leave. donghyun turned to him suddenly after a few moment, "i think i'll be home late tonight. i'm with a friend. yeah. okay. bye, woong"

youngmin scoffed again, folding his arms across his body. "i don't have a boyfriend" he sneered in a high pitched voice.

"woong is not my boyfriend" donghyun pointed but youngmin gave him the same jeering look, a look that has _really_? written all over it so he sighed, letting his face fall to the floor defeatedly.

youngmin laughed while walking up to the other, holding his chin up and leaning in just close enough for their lips to touch but not. "isn't this the part where you kiss me and we make out?"

"not until you believe me when i say he's not my boyfriend"

"too bad then" youngmin leaned back causing a groan to leave donghyun's mouth.

"you're so stubborn" donghyun said and pulled him back in for a kiss that is ever so desperately, one that could be interpreted to _believe me when i say you're the only one for me_ except it's not. it was strictly pleasure.

and that was probably all they ever were to each other. an outlet for pleasure, a relief, an escape. fuck buddies, if you might. they'd always sneak out to meet in secret without the knowledge of their friends and will always end up in some cheap hotels. neither of them ever stayed until the morning and would leave instantly after they were done, keeping whatever they had driving on **strictly** lust.

until one day donghyun came over to youngmin's house unannounced (how did he even remember where he lived?) and only called him when he was already downstairs. youngmin quickly went down without bothering to make himself look presentable at all to see the other with tears stained cheeks and puffy eyes. he didn't even get a chance to ask anything before donghyun threw himself into him and started kissing him so desperately, oblivious to the staring glare from the passerby or now that youngmin thought about it, he just simply didn't care.

youngmin had to really push him away slightly and bring him into his chest instead. "people are staring" he muttered and donghyun sobbed out a giggle. "are you okay? do you want to come upstairs?" he asked while softly rubbing on the other's back. donghyun nodded the best his position, which is face buried in youngmin's chest that youngmin giggled. "okay then you need to get off me"

donghyun did as told, not bringing his face up as he held youngmin's hand tightly while youngmin guided him to the elevator and straight to his unit. when they were finally inside, youngmin let go of his hold on donghyun's hand, planning to go to the kitchen and get him water. instead he was pulled back behind in suprise because donghyun didn't let go of him.

he looked at donghyun instantly, seeing that the other was already looking at him with a pout.

"go wait in my bedroom. i'll get you water first"

donghyun shook his head and followed youngmin into the kitchen instead. he finally let go of his hand when youngmin looked at him with a pleading one, one that was like _i need to do this with two hands._ so after that he only watched the older did his things without making a sound.

a few moments later, they were in youngmin's bed doing absolutely nothing but cuddling. donghyun was laying on his side with youngmin's hand as his pillow and his face buried in youngmin's shoulder while youngmin laid on his back and was rubbing sweet nothings on donghyun's back that was on his reach with the hand that was being used as the pillow.

"why were you crying?" youngmin finally say, once he thought he had enough of the silence. the silence was comfortable and they could've had fallen asleep easily through it while still very much cuddling into each other but it's youngmin and donghyun. they don't do things like that. they weren't in that phase.

donghyun hummed and didn't say anything else after that so youngmin took it as he didn't want to talk about it.

it was always like that for both of them. they were one another's emotional outlet but the emotion that ever came out of either of them was just lust. sometimes, as obvious as it was that one of them were going through something, it was never discussed with words. they'd throw themselves into the other and hope the other would get the meaning without asking for more questions and just start working their hands down one another's in desperation, a desperation to feel something, anything but what they were feeling.

youngmin sighed and turned to look at donghyun who has his eyes, examining his face. this was the first time that they ever get to lay in bed without doing anything particularly sexual so youngmin get to see things he never really noticed on donghyun like the way his bangs are at the same level as his eyebrows and already almost making it to his eyes. or how pointy donghyun's nose actually is and how it's tip was tinged pink so cutely.

donghyun's eyes suddenly fluttered open, staring back at youngmin's already staring ones. "i thought you were going to kiss me"

so youngmin averted his attention to the other's lips. his lips is plump and just _pretty_. youngmin absolutely liked staring at it and donghyun knew it too. especially after they were done making out, donghyun's lips would look bruised, extra plumpy in a way and glaringly red. that's when youngmin would stare the most. he remembered vividly how donghyun's lips felt the first time they kissed. at the bar. it was soft like cloud, almost unreal and he tasted like alcohol with a hint of blueberry for some unknown reason. he had always wondered why he tasted blueberry that night, though never asked.

"will you stay until the morning?" youngmin asked instead. eyes going back up to stare into donghyun's brown ones. the question caught the other off guard that his eyes widened. after a beat of silence, donghyun answered a simple yeah.

and youngmin finally kissed him, so softly and passionate. he let his lips move with donghyun's without rushing it and it was just sweet. nothing like the other reckless and empty kisses they've shared. this time it felt genuine and out of love. almost.

after the kiss, they didn't do anything else except just cuddle closer and actually drift to sleep in the warmth of being in one another's hold.

that was when youngmin realised he had fucked up.

because the next morning, despite himself not being a morning person, he woke up way before donghyun and made breakfast for him (something he don't even do for himself)

and after that day, some unknown connection formed between the two. it was no longer based purely on lust, no matter how hard youngmin tried to deny. there was always just something more.

from the way they kiss and the way they touch each other, it was all just different. and the fact that it had become common for them to stay to cuddle and then eat breakfast together the next morning was slowly fucking youngmin's mind up too.

there was never anything said about the obvious shift in their relationship. and youngmin didn't do shit about his feelings too, always just brushing it off as confusion and a one time thing. it wasn't real, whatever he had for donghyun. it was just driven by his desire, the desire to have something more. through all that, he unconsciously only fell for donghyun even more.

"let's stop this" donghyun said one day.

youngmin almost chocked on his own saliva because they were literally just laying there trying to wear the pleasure down so breathlessly and currently cuddling despite the disgusting stickiness between them. his eyes looked for donghyun's, to see the reason behind it, to see if he actually meant it. but donghyun only ignored his gaze as he detached himself from youngmin and leaned on the bedhead.

"woong really isn't my boyfriend" donghyun said randomly. youngmin laughed because why was he bringing it up now? it was months since that happened. "but. he might be?"

and the laughters faltered. youngmin looked at him in confusion, with widened eyes and everything. the uncertainty in donghyun's tone was obvious that youngmin couldn't comprehend what it is that he was trying to say.

"the other day when i came here crying, it was because he did it again. bringing home new lover despite my obvious discomfort so i just wanted to escape"

it had always been obvious that donghyun felt a thing or two for woong. youngmin just never thought it was actually serious.

"and i think that was actually the best decision i did in awhile because you're truly my paradise, youngmin. my heaven on earth" there was honesty to his tone, one that made youngmin's stomach twist and twitch like no other. that was probably the most donghyun had ever talked about the other's stand in his life and youngmin opened his mouth to speak but donghyun continued. "but earlier this week, woong broke up with his lover and started crying really badly in my arms. it was a frequent occurrence, though. really, just really an usual our thing where he'd come home crying from a break up and i'd be there to calm him down. except at the same very night he kissed me" donghyun scoffed after that, "and i actually kissed him back"

youngmin felt his heart defeatedly drop to his stomach. he felt like time stopped and he wasn't even breathing. no sound was made for the next few minutes.

"i'll stay if you want me to though"

it was obvious. donghyun wanted youngmin to hold onto him and youngmin really wanted to do that. but he didn't. because at the back of his head he thought, donghyun wouldn't have to choose if he was serious about what he and youngmin had. he didn't want to be a rebound, though it's now clearer than ever that _a rebound_ is what he ever was.

so he didn't say anything when donghyun sighed and get out of the bed to dress up. he didn't say anything when donghyun spared him one last glance, a hopeful one before sighing and leaving the room. 

they didn't speak at all for the next few months. whenever they bumped into each other at uni, youngmin would always avoid his gaze. it was no different for donghyun either. they were back to being strangers, as how they should've always been (youngmin thought)

fast forward to dance majors' recital. he did thought of making a personal invitation solely for donghyun but quickly brushed it off because of course donghyun would be there right? his boyfriend is literally one of the performers. so instead, he broadcasted a public invitation to everyone in his contacts without much thoughts. it was actually a requirement, something he had to do but he really only did it for donghyun. a way of saying _please come see me._

to his suprise but much delight, donghyun did come. personally to him. backstage. at the waiting room.

the recital ended with so much success and everyone else were out to celebrate, youngmin was supposed to go after them once he was done washing up but a knock at the door stopped him from his movements as he muttered a simple come in. but no one came in so he confusingly went to the door and opened it with much curiosity. and he saw donghyun standing right infront of the door with a bouquet in his hand, looking just as suprised as he was.

"woong left with the team already" youngmin managed to say, so bitterly. he then turned back on his heels to go back into the room and finish packing up when the door closed and he saw donghyun had walked in through the mirror.

"i'm not here for him"

it felt somewhat nostalgic, looking at one another through the mirror like this under the dim light in the waiting room. something they had done so many times back then that it got funny.

"i said, i'm not here for him" donghyun repeated before forwarding to where youngmin was standing while still very much looking at him through the mirror glaringly. "are you not going to look at me at all?"

"i am looking at you" youngmin snapped unexpectedly.

donghyun only chuckle, unintimidated, "not from the mirror, i mean"

youngmin made no effort to move so donghyun did instead. he walked to infront of youngmin before handled out the bouquet, "here. a gift"

youngmin looked at it before looking back at the other's eyes, eyebrows raised and lips pursued. sensually challenging.

"don't do that" donghyun whined, teeth gritted. "i had to do a serious self control practice before coming in here"

that didn't faze youngmin as he kept up his facade. he leaned back on the table next to him and looked at donghyun suggestively. he knew donghyun had one thing in mind and he planned to get the most out of it. for the fun of it. (and also because he lowkey, actually higkey, missed donghyun's touches)(it was wrong, yeah. donghyun has a boyfriend. but his carnal brain took over his conscious one along with the rising tension between them in the small room)

few (antagonizing) moments letter, donghyun muttered a quiet _fuck it_ and dropped the bouquet dow to the floor before charging forward, capturing youngmin's lips on his and quickly wrap his hands around the older yearningly. youngmin returned the kiss just as eagerly while smiling to himself. he moved his tounge across donghyun's lower lip so painfully slow that donghyun let out a low whine and youngmin took it as a chance to slide his tongue in the other's. they make out messily for the longest, letting all of their pent up frustration go along with it when a knock on the door forced them to pull apart. donghyun turned his face againts the door to hide it from whoever it was when youngmin gave permission for the door to be opened.

a girl, probably a staff opened the door and offered a smile, "we'll be closing in 10 minutes" she said politely. donghyun let out a sigh of relief unconsciously while youngmin stiffled a chuckle. he nodded to the staff, "i'll be out in 5 minutes"

and the staff closed the door behind her and donghyun felt like he can finally breathe again.

"from the way you were kissing me, i wouldn't have expected you to be scared to get caught" youngmin snickered, getting off the table and slung his bag around. donghyun scoffed and took the ruined bouquet from the floor, shoving it at youngmin.

"do you know how much i spent for it?!"

"i wasn't the one who dropped it!"

donghyun rolled his eyes as they walk out and bowed goodbye to the remaining staffs.

once they were outside, they stood infront of the entrance quietly, like they were waiting for the other to speak up but neither of them did. youngmin sighed, "thank you anyway" he said and donghyun turned to him with a questioning look. "for the bouquet, i mean. and for coming. though you probably would've still come for your boyfriend"

"wrong" donghyun interrupted. "i wouldn't have come at all if i didn't get your text"

youngmin was confused, yeah but he didn't question the story behind what was just said. instead he said, "i really don't want to go to the after party"

"is that your backhanded way of asking me to stay with you?"

"so you do have some sense"

"i literally kissed you earlier! you would have never done that"

"i'm not the one with a boyfriend"

donghyun huffed but didn't fight back. there was nothing left to say, anyway. youngmin was right. he was the one with a boyfriend.

"so your house?" he asked instead.

"let's go then"

it just felt normal for them, from the way their lips moved messily againts one another and how their bodies rocked so desperately in sync.

youngmin was deep inside of donghyun, thrusting into him at a merciless pace with donghyun having his legs wrapped around youngmin's waist so tightly as an attempt to keep youngmin close to him as much as he can. they were loud, strong profanities and harsh groans leaving their mouths at each jolts. nothing but carnal pleasure filled in the dark that is youngmin's room.

donghyun came a moment later, face buried into youngmin's neck causing his moans to get muffled but it was so clear to youngmin's ear that he followed right after him. he let himself fall down on top of donghyun right after, not bothering the fact that they were sticky from spunks as he kissed him lazily. he pulled out a second later, donghyun whining at the loss causing him to chuckle. he got off donghyun before reaching out for wet tissues at the side table and started cleaning donghyun up.

donghyun purred into his touches, not hiding the fact that he was enjoying the aftercare.

"do you want anything to drink?" youngmin asked while throwing a one of his clean shirt to donghyun which the younger received easily as he also worked on putting on a pair of shorts.

"no. but i want to cuddle with you"

"i'm going to pee"

"i never asked!"

when youngmin didn't come back to the bed after 5 long minutes, donghyun got up exasperatedly and walked to the kitchen, seeing youngmin standing there with a glass of water in his hand. youngmin offered him a cup, which he gladly took since he was already there to begin with. "i'm so hungry" he said randomly after that.

youngmin nodded before moving to open each of his cabinets to look for anything edible. "uhm. i have nothing"

donghyun, who was just done lurking inside of youngmin's fridge sneered, "what do you even eat on the daily? your fridge is practically empty"

youngmin rubbed his head briefly, "i mean.. i was busy practicing until late hours so i've been eating outside.." and almost like a bulb lighten up in his head, he yelled a loud oh before moving back to his room while donghyun watched dumbfoundedly.

he came back with two packets of ramen in his hand and a big smile. donghyun looked at him questioning before chuckling, "you're so random that it's so cute"

and if youngmin blushed at that, he hoped donghyun didn't see.

that was how they went back to their old.. activities? youngmin soon learnt from one of his dancer friend that he still kept in touch with after graduation that donghyun and woong's relationship are as fragile as a glass that was second away from breaking into pieces.

so each time donghyun would come to him, he never bothered to ask instead only took him in with open arms.

the thought of not wanting to be a rebound was long thrown out of the window because he likes what he had with donghyun too much to even care about petty things like that.

"how come you never ask me anything?" donghyun asked one time while they were cuddling. youngmin hummed, "do you want me to?"

"yes"

"then i'll ask" he took a deep breath, there was a lot of things he wanted to ask. so much that he didn't know where to start. donghyun softly put a hand on his cheeks bringing his face down to look at him. donghyun then blinked, as a way of telling him to talk. "what really happened at the night of the recital? i'm sure you weren't there for me" he finally asked.

donghyun looked offended as he glare right at youngmin with a frown, "i was there for you! how many times do i have to tell you for you to finally believe in me?"

"did you fight with your boyfriend?"

"kind of? he didn't come home at all the night before. out since morning and never came back. i was so annoyed. i was going to skip the recital all together and then i remembered your text. so i went because i thought it'd be important for you"

youngmin clicked his tounge together and hummed, "very thoughtful.. but sus"

"i'm serious! i didn't even see him that night. went straight to you once i've mustered up enough courage" donghyun said in a high pitched whine, "and a bit of self control" he added right after, voice faltering.

youngmin laughed and planted a short kiss on his lips. donghyun snuggled closer, if it's even possible since they're practically already pressed together, almost glued at this point. youngmin let him, though. he even start to draw random circles on donghyun's back causing a fond smile to creep up donghyun's face.

"we're on a really thin thread" donghyun blurted out after a beat if silence. "he was almost never home, doing whatever that i don't even know. always dodging when i asked"

it wasn't news to youngmin. he atleast knew that much so he didn't bother asking for more details and donghyun didn't bother telling him more.

after awhile, youngmin spoke again. "do you have regrets?" it was a trap, a set up. the question could mean alot of things and youngmin should've specified but he didn't. even when donghyun looked up to him with an unexplainable gaze, he avoided it by playing with the other's hair softly.

"i do, of course" donghyun said after awhile. youngmin's heart sank. an open question lead to an open answer, of course. he had seen it coming, truly.

though having seen it coming don't necessarily mean it won't hurt. because it did. alot.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> too much. youngmin thinks he's expecting too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted to write domestic insanely cringy youngdong.. and makes sense of the story. i hope it comes across! also the next chapter going to be in donghyun's pov bc i realised there's not much i can write on youngmin's.. 🤨 
> 
> also i added more tags.. idk how this fic will progress so i'll add more as i go probably.

"so, why are you here?" youngmin asks once they're in the elevator on their way to his unit because the silence is getting unbearable. youngmin is mad, exasperated and irritated for many good reasons. he had just finished his late dinner when he got a call from donghyun telling him he's downstairs. donghyun came over unannounced _again_ , after two weeks of radio silence. and he's finally downstairs, right at youngmin's grasp. he wants to keep up his facade, to ignore but he misses donghyun so much that he got up and went down to pick him up anyway.

donghyun doesn't answer, instead pushes himself onto youngmin causing the older to fall back forcefully againts the cold elevator wall before kissing him fully on the mouth.

youngmin lets out a yelp, all thoughts from before probably had left when he walked into the elevator earlier because he is kissing back almost instantly, wrapping his hand around donghyun's back pulling him closer. their lips move together desperately until donghyun lets out a small gasp and the elevator doors open. luckily for them, there aren't anyone waiting infront of it so donghyun easily get off youngmin before walking out nonchalantly. youngmin, dumbfoundedly blinks a few times to make sense of the situation before laughing to himself and walk out.

"you know they finally fixed the cctv in there few days ago, right?"

donghyun hums, "don't you like it adventurous like that?"

"fuck you, kinky shit"

"that was the plan, honestly"

once they're inside, donghyun wastes no time and pushes youngmin againts the wall again, trapping him in between his arms again before they start kissing, this time more desperate than earlier since donghyun opens his mouth almost instantly, letting youngmin's tounge in with ease. they only pull apart when they run out of air but donghyun doesn't stop there as he continues to nibble on youngmin's skin going from his cheeks to his neck smoothly.

"what's wrong with you today?" youngmin manages to ask in between pleasure because hell, if there's one thing donghyun is good at it's how he uses his mouth.

donghyun doesn't answer but starts biting on youngmin's neck, obviously leaving a mark.

"god, no marks!" youngmin manages but donghyun only chuckles, "oops?" he mutters, giving youngmin a sneering look.

"can you fuck me today? please" donghyun says after awhile of staring. youngmin raises an eyebrow and pursues his lips together in confusion. he wears an obvious expression of why?

donghyun rolls his eyes, "i missed you" he clicks on his tounge unconsciously, something he does only when he's upset (only youngmin would know this). "plus, do i need a reason to get fucked?"

so youngmin wastes no more time and pushes donghyun up to wrap his legs around his waist before he brings him into the bedroom and close the door behind them.

he puts donghyun down on the bed roughly before pulling the younger's shirt off him. donghyun complies almost easily and so desperately before letting out a satisfied groan that he chuckles. "did he leave you alone again?"

"can we please not talk about him right now? you're killing the moo–" donghyun lets out a sharp whine when youngmin unexpectedly grinds down on his crotch. donghyun wraps his hands around youngmin's next then, pulling him for another messy kiss while bucking his hips onto youngmin's for a release.

"let's slow down, baby" youngmin mutters through the kiss before leaning back to take a look at the man under him. "we have all night"

"are you staying over?" youngmin murmurs softly. donghyun is now laying in his arms under the comforter, the two of them still very much naked but all cleaned up, atleast to feel comfortable. donghyun hums before nodding but says, "i shouldn't though"

youngmin looks at him confusingly, "why?"

"because" donghyun pauses, looking up to youngmin. he laughs when he realises the older's expression and plant a soft kiss on his lips. "nothing. i'm staying. i'll deal with everything else tomorrow" and he buries his face into youngmin's chest comfortably after muttering a soft goodnight.

a loud ringing wakes the two of them up the next morning. youngmin groans before untangling himself from donghyun to pick up his phone from the side table only to realise that it's not his. he taps on donghyun's shoulder and passes his phone, "yours" he manages and lay on his back again.

donghyun answers his phone mindlessly before jolting up straight, suprising youngmin as well that his eyes shoot open instantly.

"i'm at my friend's" donghyun says to the phone monotonously.

youngmin sleepily let out a soft yawn but donghyun hits on his arm unexpectedly causing him to let out silent whine. he looks at the younger glaringly only to notice that donghyun is already glaring at him with his index finger on his lips, shushing him out.

oh to fight the urge to push the hand away and kiss him hard as a revenge.

youngmin sulks and turn his back agains donghyun before pulling the covers over his head quietly.

until he feels a shift on his side and suddenly a body is pressed on his back. donghyun plants soft kisses on youngmin's nape in attempt to get the older to turn at him but it doesn't faze him as he continues to sulk.

"i'm sorry" donghyun says quietly, "it was woong by the way so i panicked when you were making loud noises"

youngmin finally turn to donghyun, lips still in pout and eyes downcast. donghyun smiles and pull him into a hug while continue kissing the other's face going from his forehead to his cheeks and pausing at the lips because youngmin suddenly dodges.

"you haven't even brushed your teeth!"

"who cares? morning breaths be damned" and he leans forward to kiss youngmin still only for youngmin to push him away. he glares and get up, "i do care" and walk to the bathroom while donghyun groans defeatedly.

youngmin is making pancakes when donghyun suddenly wrap a hand around his waist from the back and buried his face into youngmin's back, inhaling his freshly showered scent. youngmin feels water droplets falling on his shoulder and he laughs because that's really a donghyun way to say _i've showered_.

"can i get my kiss now?" donghyun says afterwards.

"do you want to burn the kitchen down?"

donghyun huffs and uses force to turn youngmin around, closing the gas swiftly before crashing their lips together. youngmin lets out a muffled shriek but kisses him back in no time just as passionately. donghyun attempts to deepen the kiss by biting on youngmin's lower lip but the other pulls away so donghyun whines and pout.

youngmin only sneers before turning the gas back on and focuses on cooking the pancakes again. donghyun sighs in defeat, moving to the fridge to take out chocolate milk and two cups then settle on the table quietly. he watches youngmin makes breakfast with a small smile, heart warming up unknowingly at the sight. until he gets a text.

donghyun is too immersed in his phone when youngmin walks over. "who are you texting?" youngmin asks, putting down the two plates filled with evenly spread pancakes (donghyun's actually has more but youngmin doesn't tell)

donghyun only sigh and youngmin already know the answer. he doesn't say anything else as he sits down and passes donghyun his plate before diving in.

"i've always wanted to ask" donghyun says, mouth full of pancakes. "why don't you ever make me eggs?"

"what is that supposed to mean?"

donghyun pauses to drink his milk, "i mean. you know how there's memes on the internet like how do you like your eggs in the morning? thing"

youngmin bursts out laughing right after that almost choking on his pancake while donghyun eyes him seriously. "you're ridiculous, donghyun!" he manages between laughters, "why are you letting the internet dictate your sex life?"

"no!" donghyun objects, "i'm just saying. i like mine scrambled, by the way" and he finally laugh.

"you've gotten better in controlling your expression!" youngmin notes before nodding, "okay, noted. next time i'll make you scrambled eggs"

"you're actually everything, lim youngmin"

they spend the day just cuddling on the couch while watching running man on youngmin's big tv with donghyun occasionally pulling youngmin into an innocent kiss. that soon turned into a full make out session with donghyun hovering over youngmin. they messily kiss until donghyun pull away to move on to his neck and then down to his collarbone, sucking on it lightly but surely leaving marks.

"i said no marks" youngmin weakly whines feeling lightheaded from the pleasure.

"i know you love it when i mark you up" donghyun muffles from his neck. his hot breath feels like electric on youngmin's making him buck his hips up slightly that donghyun chuckles before sliding to youngmin's side again after giving him one flat kiss.

youngmin finally looks at donghyun glaringly, "it's unfair!" he whines. donghyun raises his eyebrow confusingly and youngmin continues. "i want to leave marks on you too"

"you know i'd let you if i don't have a boyfriend to come home to" donghyun says, eyes downcasted to the new bruise on youngmin's neck (he just doesn't want to meet with youngmin's)

youngmin scoffs harshly but doesn't say a thing. they've had this conversation way too many times.

instead he pulls donghyun in for another kiss and mutters, "you got me worked up" he takes donghyun's hand to his pants, groaning when he touches his growing bulge.

donghyun smirks as he easily slide his hand inside of youngmin's pants that youngmin grinds on it while letting out another low whine. donghyun laughs as he whispers right next to youngmin's ears, "always so needy"

youngmin hums in short pleasure before holding onto donghyun's hand that's in his pants, "off" he says simply. mind too hazy and distracted to form an actual sentence.

but donghyun gets him as he pull down youngmin's pants along with his underwear enough take his cock into his hand before he starts stroking so painfully slow.

youngmin moans still, always so easy to please even with the littlest touch. donghyun loves that about him. so in courtesy he starts stroking faster while nibbling his teeths on the skin near youngmin's ear. youngmin has his eyes shut tight while biting on his lips to stifle his moan while he trembles in pleasure. donghyun moves his free hand to him, giving him a task to work on, to suck on his fingers so he can relax a bit. youngmin takes in almost instantly.

few moments later, youngmin comes into donghyun's hand relentlessly, face burried in the other's neck desperately while trying to not make loud noises. donghyun chuckles and pats on his back softly, assuring him that he's fine. he's good. he's okay.

donghyun then reaches for tissues and clean youngmin up along with his hand before youngmin kisses him and they are back to cuddling.

"the next time, you're topping" youngmin mumbles weakly, still wearing down his high as donghyun laughs amusedly.

youngmin insists on walking donghyun downstairs when the other excuses himself to leave. though he refused, youngmin is already outside the door and is waiting for him by the elevator so he sighs and walk out of the house with heavy steps. it's quiet in the elevator until youngmin elbows him softly and point at the corner of the ceiling, "that's the new cctv"

"eh, it wouldn't have caught us yesterday" donghyun points out, "what a shame" he adds.

"you're unbelievable" youngmin huffs and walk out once the door opens. donghyun stays inside until the elevator almost closes and youngmin hastily push on the button, "aren't you coming?"

"i don't want to go back" he whines but walk out anyway and goes straight into youngmin's arm. "my home is here"

youngmin ignores the raging butterflies in his stomach when he heard that and embraces him easily without saying a word. donghyun snuggles into him closer, inhaling youngmin's smell of expensive cologne before pulling away.

"i know i've asked this way too many times but—" "then don't ask" donghyun interrupts causing youngmin to glare before continuing anyway, "why are you still with him if you hate him so much?"

"i don't hate him. i just don't like what we have anymore"

"that's the same thing"

donghyun sighs, "it's complicated.. i'll text you later"

"you know you won't" youngmin sneers and rolls his eyes. donghyun playfully shove him away before hugging him again and pull him down to peck him on the lips.

"if you keep on hugging and kissing me i'll just drag you back upstairs" youngmin says seriously. donghyun laughs and pull away defeatedly. his phone gives him a notification that his taxi has arrived so he plants another peck on youngmin's lips before turning on his heels and waves goodbye to the other. "i promise i'll text you this time!" he screams before settling inside the taxi.

youngmin waves back with a smile until donghyun is finally out of his sight before sighing and walk back to the elevator after letting out a huge sigh.

when he walks inside his room, he lets out another huge sigh upon seeing the cloud pillows they'd bought few months back on his bed. donghyun must've moved it back there because he clearly remember shoving them away in the closet. he plops on the bed and takes one of the pillow into his hands, cuddling into it before snoozing away.

donghyun didn't text him, obviously. for a week straight. not that youngmin is hoping for him to because he knows he wouldn't but why would he say he will when he won't?!

after he's done with his routines for the day, he lays in bed and scrolls through instagram mindlessly, unconsciously ends at donghyun's profile. his last post, a selfie, was over a month ago. the caption was corny, like the typical kim donghyun. youngmin chuckles to himself before realising what he's doing and let out a groan.

after awhile, he decides he can't stand it anymore. so he texts donghyun to ask him what is he up to. he quickly put his phone down, not bothering to check because he's sure he's not getting a reply because it's late at night and donghyun is probably already in bed.

the sound of his phone ringing causes him to jolt out of suprise. _donghyun_.

" _hi! i have a test tomorrow so i'm currently studying"_ donghyun sounds chirpier than usual that youngmin feels absolutely bitter. " _what about you? what are you up to?"_

"a test on a saturday?" youngmin asks confusingly and donghyun hums. that's kind of crazy, youngmin thinks. "i'm not really doing anything, just laying in bed. it's almost midnight!"

" _ah, were you thinking of me? is that why you texted? you never text me first"_

youngmin scoffs before sitting up and leans on the bed head, "i have very valid reason for that" donghyun laughs. "also, is it fine for you to call? are you not at home?"

_"i'm at the library actually! why? do you want come?"_

"absolutely not, i'd rather sleep"

" _geez. and i thought you missed me"_

i do, youngmin wants to say. he bits his lip softly while staring at the wall infront of him blankly when donghyun chuckles, _"so you do miss me! i miss you too, don't worry"_

youngmin huffs and rolls his eyes to no one. "you didn't even text me when you said you would! got me waiting for no reason"

_"i was going to! but something happened and then i just forgot. when i realised, i thought it was too late. sorry.. i'll make it up to you"_

"how?"

_"i don't know yet but i'll come up with something!"_

youngmin hums, obviously not buying it but doesn't say anything else.

_"i need to go now, my friend is calling for me. i miss you! i'll find time for you soon, i promise. take care!"_

and the call cuts off before youngmin even get the chance to reply. he sighs, laying back down on the bed and drifts to sleep.

the next morning, he's woken up by the sound of his front bell. he groans because who the hell in their sane mind would be blasting the bell this early in the morning?!

he gets up to the door anyway, not even bothering making himself look presentable for the person behind the door to realise that they're so wrong for coming in this early morning. he opens the door lazily, eyes barely even open when he hears a familiar laugh. "you look like shit" donghyun says and youngmin jolts awake at that and blinks his sleepiness away while he registers that donghyun is here.

donghyun hugs him almost instantly and buries his face into the warmth of youngmin's chest, practically purring out of fondness.

"how did you get up?"

"i bribed the security" donghyun laughs. "i think they're already familiar with me so when i asked if they can scan their security card for me to go up, they just agreed"

"i'll believe in the former" youngmin says and tightens his hold on donghyun's while putting his entire face in donghyun's hair while the other chuckles amusingly because it tickles. "when you say you'll make time for me, i didn't think it'd be right the next day" youngmin speaks after they settle on the couch. he has his head resting on donghyun's shoulders (his favorite place on earth) while donghyun fiddles with his fingers fondly.

"you think so little of me!" donghyun frowns.

youngmin laughs and shrugs, "you can't blame me for that! i thought you have a test today?"

"i thought so too but it got cancelled! i regret staying back at the library.. a waste of time"

"you slept at the library?!"

donghyun nods, "and i came straight here when i was told that it was cancelled" he smiles genuinely, "i really missed you, by the way"

youngmin is quiet, too quiet that donghyun stops playing with his finger to turn to look at him. "you never reciprocate to me!" donghyun whines with a pout. youngmin looks at him funnily and thinks of how badly he wants to kiss the pout away. he gets up suddenly, leaving donghyun dumbfounded as he asks, "where are you going?"

"to brush my teeth. i want to kiss you" he answers simply; almost flatly causing donghyun to blush slightly before coming after him, "me too! i want to kiss you too"

"what did you do the entire week?" donghyun asks, mouth full of jjamppong that they had ordered for lunch. youngmin makes a face of disgust, handling a piece of tissue because the sauce is spilling out from donghyun's mouth. instead of taking the tissue, donghyun leans forward and looks at him suggestively so youngmin huffs before wiping it for him. donghyun smiles sweetly.

"just work. i have to organize an event for next weekend" youngmin answers after, "so i'll probably be busy next week"

"is that a backhanded way of telling me not to come over next week?" donghyun asks, eyeing him suspiciously. youngmin smiles smugly as donghyun glares, "i'm a busy person too! i won't come" he jeers and pouts.

youngmin laughs, "i didn't say that! not even an implication. you did"

"whatever" donghyun huffs.

once they're done eating, instead of watching tv in the living room like they usually did after every meal, they stay in youngmin's room instead. donghyun said it's because he missed being there.

"oh, the cloud pillows!" donghyun exclaims excitedly, quickly taking it into his arms and hugs it close. "i'm suprised you didn't hide it in the closet again. why did you even do that?"

youngmin hums but doesn't answer as pats the spot next to him on the bed for donghyun. the other does as told and rests his head on youngmin's shoulder as he sets up his laptop to watch a movie.

"this is so unnecessary. we can just watch from the tv. and it's bigger too" youngmin whines because he's struggling to find a decent placing for the laptop so the two of them can watch comfortably without either of them getting sore necks.

"it's more intimate this way"

youngmin doesn't say anything to that but if his heart fluttered, no one needs to know.

halfway through the movie, donghyun yawns before snuggling closer to youngmin, "i'm sleepy"

"do you want to nap then?"

donghyun hums, "can we cuddle?"

youngmin pauses the movie and puts his laptop into sleep mode, placing it at the side table. he lays on the bed and almost instantly, donghyun scoots into his side and takes one of his hand to wrap it around his own waist. he hums in satisfaction and looks up to youngmin, leaning in to kiss him flat on the mouth before burying his face into youngmin's chest again.

"do you have any question for today?" donghyun sleepily slurs with his eyes closed.

"why do you always ask me that when you're one second away from falling asleep?"

"so i wouldn't be able to dodge your questions"

"like a moment of truth?"

"yup"

youngmin pauses to think. "did something happen between you and woong? no matter how hard i think about it, it's just not you to sleep at the library"

donghyun takes a moment to answer that youngmin thought he had fallen asleep from the time he'd taken to come up with a question.

"you're right" donghyun finally says, "something did happen. you know the evening i went home from here?"

youngmin hums.

"he was already at home when i arrived. caught me off guard actually when i walked in and saw him in the living room" donghyun chuckles, though nothing is particularly funny. "he hugged me and i was like loading for awhile before hugging him back and when he let go, do you know what he said?"

youngmin shakes his head, feeling nervous all of the sudden because of the pause.

"you smell like youngmin"

youngmin's eyes widened while looking into's donghyun's lazy ones. his lips pressed together in shock as he feels his heart quickening. "how did he even know how my perfume smells like?" he manages after awhile.

donghyun laughs, "are you stupid? didn't you guys practice together for like 3 years?"

oh. youngmin had momentarily forgotten that he and woong are acquaintance from university.

"so i was like, what do you mean? and he laughed and said nothing. i just reminded him of how you used to smell like after practice"

"that's weird actually. who remembers things like that? we weren't even that close"

donghyun shrugs.

"did you guys had a fight because of that?"

"not really. i don't even know how to describe it. he looked mad, or maybe more suprised? i don't think he even knew about us. but he dropped the topic right after so i didn't dwell on it" donghyun explains. "and because i was busy with my neverending tests this week, i barely even see him at home nor at uni. maybe he was avoiding me.. maybe not. i don't ponder on it"

youngmin hums, not really knowing what to say. it must've shown on his face because donghyun laughs and kisses him, "you're so cute"

youngmin doesn't answer, only glares weakly.

a comfortable silence falls between them soon after. youngmin is sure the other has fallen asleep when donghyun blurts. 

"i love you, youngmin"

time stops. tension rises. heart racing. stomach drops. that's how youngmin feels.it takes a minute for youngmin to comprehend, still trying to make a sense out of what was just said. to make sure he heard what he hears. when donghyun suddenly leans in to kiss him that he accepts that it's real. 

donghyun loves him.

donghyun's lips linger on his until youngmin finally kiss him back. he pushes donghyun to lay on his back before climbing on top of him all without breaking the kiss. the kiss is soft, almost delicate and obviously sweet. so many emotions being shared through this one kiss. a complete switch up from what they've shared before. none of them make a sound nor try to deepen the kiss as they usually would.

if they could kiss for the entire day without stopping at all, youngmin knows he'd be doing all that but they couldn't so he pulls away, panting for air. he stares at donghyun who's lip bruised and red, just pretty. he's about to lean in for another kiss when donghyun wraps his arms around youngmin's neck and pulls youngmin down to lay on top of him, his entire weight crashing down on donghyun. youngmin shrieks before trying to wiggle out of donghyun's wrap to lay on the side again but he couldn't move at all. "let's just stay like this" donghyun manages through burried face on youngmin's shoulder.

"isn't it suffocating for you?"

"no. i like having you close"

youngmin actually manage to get off donghyun a moment later despite donghyun's whines. once he's back on his original spot, he takes donghyun straight into his arms before kissing his head softly and the two finally drift to sleep.

youngmin loves donghyun. and donghyun loves youngmin.

when youngmin wakes up, the spot next to him is empty. he blinks away the drowsiness while trying to make sense of the surrounding when he realises donghyun isn't there. or anywhere in the house. he looks for a note, or anything at all donghyun might have left behind but there's nothing. so he sighs defeatedly before plopping down on the couch.

too much. he thinks. he is starting to expect for too much.

he comes to the point of doubting what happened before the nap earlier. youngmin is so deep in thoughts that he didn't hear the sound of the door and completely missed donghyun walking in with bags of groceries in his hand.

donghyun has a huge smile when he looks at youngmin at the couch. he only watch him silently from the kitchen counter, not bothering to say a word. when something randomly falls on the ground, it shocks both boys away that they let out a high pitched scream.

"donghyun?" youngmin calls, instantly getting up and hugs the other, straight up burying his face into the other's shoulder. donghyun is taken aback, confused by the excessive affection but he hugs back, patting on youngmin's back softly. they stay like that for awhile until donghyun physically pushes youngmin away to look at him with a questioning face. youngmin doesn't say anything because it's embarassing. how is he supposed to tell donghyun that he almost pulls his entire hair out because donghyun wasn't there when he woke up? so intead, youngmin kisses him, sweet and tender. "i love you" youngmin mutters once they're pulled away. 

donghyun doesn't hide his shocked expression as he looks into the other's glossy eyes. "did something happen?" 

youngmin shrugs, still smiling so bright as he moves to take a look at what donghyun brought back. "why did you buy so many things?! where did you even get money?" youngmin gasps when he sees the things donghyun bought, eyes widen when he looks at donghyun. donghyun takes out a credit card, a familiar one, youngmin's, and laughs, "your fridge is too empty! you can't live like that and i was just bored while waiting for you to wake up so i thought why not"

"come here. i'll give you another kiss"

and donghyun does come straight to youngmin and they kiss for awhile before actually starting to organize the groceries filled with light banterings and loud laughters.

youngmin has just finished showering when he walks in to the kitchen to the smell of something so good. donghyun had volunteered to cook for dinner and youngmin obviously didn't object because 1. he's lazy 2. it's more pocket friendly (though donghyun did spend for the groceries earlier that he didn't even ask about for his own sanity because looking at the things he bought.. god) 3. it's donghyun.

he sits down and watches donghyun works so fondly with a smile on his face. donghyun is too immersed in doing what he's doing to even notice the staring eyes that's practically dripping with every love words you can find in the dictionary.

a few moments later, donghyun joins him with a smile as he puts the fried rice and chicken down. youngmin practically drools.

"you look like i starved you for a week!" donghyun exclaims jokingly. youngmin closes his mouth before laughing and dives in to eat. they eat in silence with youngmin occasionally looking up to donghyun from his plate with sparkling eyes to tell him that he's actually a really good cook in various words.

once they're done, youngmin takes the courtesy to volunteers to do the dishes which donghyun laughs and says, "obviously you should! that's how we keep the system running" before disappearing to the bathroom. youngmin doesn't start on his chore right away, instead sits back and scroll through his phone while he slowly eat his last piece of chicken.

he lost track of time in doing so until he hears the bathroom door opening that he scrambles to the sink with dirty plates in his hand and quickly do his chore. donghyun obviously saw so he chuckles as he dries his hair with the towel before going to youngmin to hug him from the back. he hums in satisfaction, purrs as youngmin would call it, while taking in youngmin's scent that is ever so pleasing to him. "i wouldn't be suprised if anyone remembers how you smell like because it does leave a lasting impression"

youngmin laughs at that but doesn't answer as he focuses on doing his chore because he wants to get it done asap so he can kiss donghyun.

when he's done, he dries his hand on the kitchen towel before turning to donghyun and does what he's had in mind. he kisses him. donghyun smiles through the kiss when youngmin pushes him to be up the counter as he positions himself in between donghyun's leg.

"are you staying over?" youngmin manages breathlessly once they're pulled away. donghyun doesn't even pause to think when he nods and smiles.

youngmin looks at him suspiciously, "it's saturday, though?"

"woong probably isn't even home. he hasn't texted me all day"

as if scheduled, donghyun's phone on the counter lights up signalling a text. donghyun looks at it before laughing and shows it to youngmin. "see, i told you" he says.

_**woong** : i'm staying over at my friend's today. i'll be back before noon tomorrow_

"that's all he said? not even telling you why?" youngmin confusingly asks.

donghyun shrugs and laugh before pulling youngmin in for another kiss.

"you look so pretty in my shirt, by the way" youngmin says in between the kiss. donghyun pulls away and looks at him with raised eyebrow, strangely suggestive as he wraps his legs around youngmin's waist. it doesn't take a genius to understand when youngmin carries him into the room and carefully lay him down on the bed before kissing him hard, contrasting the soft and caressing touches from earlier.

donghyun lets out a low moan when youngmin gets to his jaw down to his neck, just lightly grazing his lips there to not leave a mark when donghyun speaks. "do it"

youngmin hums in confusion while looking at him flat in the eye.

"mark me. i don't care anymore"

youngmin doesn't need to be told twice. he sucks on donghyun's collarbone, slightly lower from the eyes view. youngmin is not entirely oblivious though he can choose to be and worry about it once it's done, he doesn't want to bring troubles to the man below him. once he's done doing so, he pulls back to admire while wearing a lovesick smile that donghyun laughs and pull him up to kiss him again.

the next morning, youngmin wakes up early to do his husband duty (making breakfast) when donghyun comes out of the room while sleepily rubbing on his eyes and mutters a quiet good morning.

youngmin offers a smile while he works on his scrambled eggs.

"you're making scrambled eggs? we didn't even have sex last night!"

youngmin almost drops the spatula he's holding at donghyun's bluntness. he glares at the other who's standing by the fridge and looking at him tauntingly. "one day i'll do something about your nasty mouth" youngmin hisses and goes back to his food.

donghyun laughs, "that's kinky. i like that" he says, settling down on the table. youngmin exasperatedly rolls his eyes and moments later they're seated across each other with food on the table.

"oh my god this is like breakfast at a hotel" donghyun exclaims at his plate. youngmin shakes his head in disbelief, donghyun really going all out teasing him for no reason at all.

donghyun laughs when youngmin glares at him as he picks up the sausage before bringing it to his mouth and practically moans after. "i'm so glad i decided to get groceries. or i think we would've been having ramen for breakfast"

"we wouldn't be eating anything. i don't have anything in this house"

"glad you're aware then"

"did you wake up at the wrong side of the bed? did i piss you off unknowingly? why are you so annoying?!" youngmin lashes out in annoyance in one breath.

donghyun bursts out laughing right after that until he sees youngmin's glaring eyes so he stiffles the laughter with his eyes looking down at the plate infront of him. "you're so cute" he manages after awhile of silence. "also!" he pulls down the collar of his shirt slightly, showing off the obvious bruises on his collarbone, "look at what you've done"

oh. youngmin looks down to his plate with an obvious blush creeping up to his cheeks, lightly grazing his fork on his food before he mumbles quietly, "you were the enabler"

"yeah but i didn't expect you to go crazy with it"

"it's not even that bad! and no one can see unless you flaunt it out" youngmin retorts still annoyed but embarassed, "you're lucky i still have a bit of consciousness yesterday" he adds shortly.

donghyun huffs, "whatever"

they make up soon after, of course because donghyun starts clinging onto youngmin like there's glue between them as youngmin does his work on his laptop. "can't you give me attention? i'm leaving soon" donghyun whines while practically shoving himself into youngmin's arms that the laptop almost falls over.

youngmin sighs and puts the laptop away before pulling donghyun closer. "there. happy?"

"very" donghyun hums in content as he nibbles on youngmin's neck.

"if you don't stop, you'll never make it back before noon" youngmin warns.

donghyun laughs and stops doing that, only rests his head comfortably there. youngmin pats on his back softly while fiddling with his fingers. there's no words being exchanged, just them, cuddling in silence contentment.

"i really don't want to go back" donghyun mutters after awhile and pouts as he brings his eyes up to look at youngmin's. youngmin kisses him flat on the lips, "you say that everytime. and then ghost on me for a week"

"i have my reasons!" donghyun fights back. youngmin chuckles, though bitter because of course he does.

"do you know that i'm graduating in a few months?" donghyun asks randomly. youngmin nods. "do you also know that i took a leap year?"

"obviously? i mean.. you did tell me once back then but i figured it out even before" youngmin answers, "i'm quick on my feet, you know"

donghyun rolls his eyes in fake exasperation and opens his mouth to counters when youngmin suddenly kisses him hard causing him to fall back on his back with a shriek. he doesn't push him away, instead wraps his arms around his neck and deepens the kiss instantly.

once they pull away, youngmin lets himself falls back on donghyun's sides, both panting for air while they stare at white ceiling.

"i like that" donghyun mutters randomly. "that's your way of telling me to shut up right? keep on doing it"

youngmin bursts into fit laughters right then.

"why are you not letting me hug you!" donghyun exclaims when youngmin holds both of his hands away, keeping a safe distance between them as they stand in the lobby while they wait for donghyun's taxi to arrive.

youngmin gives him a _really_? look before pursuing his lips together and laugh when the pout on donghyun's face grows another inch longer. he leans in to plant a kiss causing the grasp on donghyun's hands to loosen and the younger takes it as a chance to wrap it around youngmin's neck before kissing him flat on the lips. he buries his face in youngmin's shoulder after before youngmin can push him away.

"god, so much for my effort of keeping you away"

"why?" donghyun mutters quietly.

"what else? so your boyfriend doesn't ask why you smell like another man"

donghyun glares at him, lips pressed together and eyebrows taunting, "do you want to see my collarbones?" he snaps in mock seriousness.

youngmin rolls his eyes because that's really the one thing donghyun had been repeating since morning and he almost regretted actually giving in last night. that was until he sees the way the marks looked on donghyun while he was getting ready earlier that made him smile to himself because god. donghyun looks even prettier with his marks.

"what are you thinking?" donghyun asks.

youngmin shrugs and kisses donghyun again at the sound of donghyun's phone notification before letting him go with a smile.

"i'll text you" donghyun says. youngmin makes a nonchalant face, obviously not believing him anymore that donghyun chuckles. "i really will this time. i promise! i'll call you even"

"yeah, yeah. now go" 

and donghyun gets inside the taxi after one last wave with a big smile and a flying kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

donghyun comes back later in late evening to an empty house, as expected. stalling time at youngmin's to the point that the older drags him out was useless afterall. he lets out a deep sigh as he moves to his room. he takes out his phone, no text at all from woong. so he calls youngmin instead.

he knows that youngmin wouldn't speak before he does whenever he calls (because according to the other, what if it was someone else calling him?! and donghyun thought that was stupid because why would someone call him from his phone?) so he decides to play a little, keeping it quiet when youngmin answers.

it's silent for like a minute or so until donghyun laughs. "that was a whole minute"

" _donghyun! god that actually scared me for a moment i contemplated to end the call"_

donghyun laughs again, "you're so cute" he can hear youngmin huffing under his breath so he can only imagine the usual flushed expression youngmin would wear whenever donghyun tells him that.

" _anyway, why did you call?"_

"i said i would, didn't i? i kept my promise this time"

youngmin hums, " _sus but alright. are you not home yet?"_

"i am, actually" " _then why are you on the phone with me?!"_

donghyun puts his head down in his pillow frustratedly because he thought the same too. when he could've been spending even more time with the other but instead he's alone in the house he won't even call home anymore.

" _are you okay?"_

donghyun stares blankly at the wall at the question, feeling his chest swelling up for no reason at all.

"i'm fine. no one was here when i came back and i got bored" he answers after awhile, unconsciously clicking on his tongue.

" _come over then"_ youngmin says suggestively taunting. donghyun groans, hating the fact that he's actually contemplating in his head. youngmin laughs at that. he opens his mouth to counters when he suddenly hears the front door.

"oh, he's back"

it's quiet then. none of them say a thing but neither bother to end the call. donghyun sighs, "i'll text you later" and youngmin only hums before finally ending the call.

his door shoots open and woong walks in with a small smile, "hi" he chirps so brightly donghyun almost roll his eyes. though he smiles and greets him back.

"i'm sorry.. i was ready to leave but something happened so i had to stay back" woong says, climbing onto the bed and settle next to donghyun. donghyun hums and shrugs, "it's fine. i just got here too"

"who were you talking to?"

"what?"

"weren't you on your phone before i came in?"

"oh.." he shakes his head before taking woong into his arms, something he finds himself doing more often than not lately. an effective way to stop woong from asking more questions (or simply to stop himself from lying). woong hums, breathing him in. "when did you get the shirt?"

donghyun's eyebrows knit together in confusion before he realises woong meant the one he's wearing. he shakes his head briefly, "it's not mine"

"oh" woong exhales. "no wonder it smells different. reminds me of the other day"

the other day. there's a meaning to it, obviously. from the woong is staring at him challengingly, like waiting for him to react in a certain way. but he plays dumb as he kisses woong flat on the lips.

"what's up?" woong chuckles but leans in for another kiss and donghyun kisses back easily.

and then they're cuddled on the bed and neither bothers to struck a conversation. it isn't necessarily awkward but it's not comfortable either. donghyun absolute hates it.

"where were you yesterday?" woong asks and donghyun raises one brow in confusion. woong turns to look at him blankly, "i was here, actually"

"you weren't at your friend's?"

"i was supposed to but something came up so i came home instead. you weren't home either on friday"

"i pulled an all nighter at the library on friday, i told you right? i was supposed to have a test on saturday" donghyun looks at woong pointedly because he's sure he did. woong shrugs, unsure. "well, that's where i was. and the test got cancelled so i crashed at my friend's instead"

"the whole day?"

"i was going to go home after a nap but then i got your text so" he exhales harshly suddenly, hoping woong would get what he's trying to say. the way woong hums as his eyes falter tells donghyun that he does.

it's quiet again. this time it's just straight up awkward. until woong sighs and speaks as he untangles himself from donghyun. "i'll go wash up first" and donghyun merely nods.

few minutes after woong left, his phone that's on the side table lights up to a notification. donghyun don't mean to lurk, he only look over because he thought it was his phone.

**woojin** : _thx for staying back, woong! i'll make it up to u somehow.. im really sry.. hope u got home safe_

donghyun stares into the mirror, looking at the bruise right below his neck. it's so obvious that it makes him laugh in disbelief everytime he sees it. until he reaches out for the shirt he wore earlier and it's all wet that it's unwearable. and he panics. because he only has a piece of towel that's barely wrapping around his waist, how the hell is he supposed to cover these marks?

he peeks outside for woong but don't see him anywhere. not in the living room or the kitchen. and then he remembers seeing woong going into his own room before he gets inside the bathroom so that means his room is clear too. after much thoughts and having absolutely no choice following by a random surge of confidence, he walks out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist.

but what he sees when he turns on his back gets him so shocked that he almost screamed. because woong is suddenly walking out from his room with his phone in his hand, looking at donghyun with the same amount of suprise donghyun has.donghyun gulps nervously, hands quickly running up to cover his collarbones in the smoothest (not) way possible. he feels sweats forming on his forehead as he carefully eyes where woong's eyes are.

"why? what's wrong?" woong asks after the few seconds of antagonizing silence. donghyun shakes his head hastily, "i just wasn't expecting to see you. where were you?" he asks the obvious like he didn't just see woong walking out of his room.

woong chuckles in amusement randomly as his eyes relaxed. though it sounded a bit too weird for donghyun's liking. or maybe he's just looking too much into things. "my room..?" he grins. "anyway, i ordered pho. it will be here soon so don't take too long getting ready or i'll eat everything!"

on normal circumstances, he would've retorted somewhere along the lines of i'll just eat naked then. and they'd laugh it off. but right now, it's not a normal circumstances because donghyun has his hand drooped around his neck very unnaturally and feels like his heart will jump out of it's socket the longer he had to stand there so he simply nod and walk away before woong can say anything else.

of course, he didn't miss the way woong's eyes actually end up lingering at where his hands were for longer than ten seconds mid conversation (is it even a conversation?) that he's sure the other had seen what he was desperate to hide. or maybe he's just simply wondering why the hell donghyun has his hands around there. or whatever. donghyun doesn't give a fuck.

the pair have a quiet dinner after that. like woong said, the delivery came few minutes after donghyun is done dressing down as he's walking out of his room. so he goes to get it from the door instead after signaling to woong that he would. woong gives him a smile when he puts down the bowl infront of him. donghyun has known the other long enough to know that the smile isn't genuine, because it didn't reach the eyes. woong loves pho and the sight of it would've always make his face lights up like no other. but right now, he's indifferent. donghyun don't push it though as he focuses on his own bowl. there's barely words exchanged between the two, like they didn't just spent the entire weekend being away from each other. maybe it's the exhaustion, or maybe it's something else.

and woong didn't follow donghyun to his bed after dinner either. instead, he disappears into his room and quickly closes the door behind once he's done with his food before donghyun could even ask, he doesn't even wait for donghyun to finish his food. when donghyun finishes, he goes straight to bed and lets sleep takeover him, thinking woong would come in when he's done doing whatever he's up to. like he always does.

"you didn't come to my room last night, right?" donghyun asks once they're in the bus. no matter how he thinks of it, it still bothers him.

donghyun was puzzled when woke up to an empty bed. so when he saw the other having breakfast by himself in the kitchen, he got even more confused. woong looked fairly startled, like he wasn't expecting donghyun to be awake this early. though, he offered a weak smile at him and offered to make the same thing for him but donghyun shook his head, excusing himself to wash up and get ready for classes of the day. as if that wasn't enough, he got hit with another shock when woong was still there when he finished getting ready. "you haven't leave yet" donghyun muttered, matter-of-factly. it wasn't a question but a statement. though, woong nodded. it was awkward, the tension between them. until a small smile appeared on woong's face, "do you want to go together?"

that's how they ended up together in the bus, with woong fiddling on donghyun's fingers softly. if it was months ago, this wouldn't have feel as foreign and awkward to donghyun. the pair always go to classes together, despite being in different major. but the situation has changed, not by a little but a lot. not from a day ago but literal months.

woong turns to look at donghyun as he shakes his head before he explains. "i was doing my assignment. it's due today"

"what were you doing the entire weekend that you did your assignment last minute?"

the question comes out of nowhere, sharp and straight to the point, suprising the older of two. the grip woong has on donghyun's hand loosened and his eyes averts at somewhere behind donghyun's shoulder obviously avoiding his glaring ones before not so smoothly turn to the front when donghyun sighs.

"i was practicing?" woong answers after a pause of silence. his tone is slightly higher than normal, one that he always uses out of annoyance. despite that, the uncertainty in the sentence is obvious. like he's unsure of it himself.

in different settings, he would've completely get that. woong is in his final year, he's juggling between preparing for the finals and his graduation recital too. it's not hard to understand from donghyun's point of view as someone who's in the final year as well.

but for today, he don't want to understand.

"the entire weekend? since friday?" he chuckles pettily, "i didn't know you were that hardworking, to be honest"

woong turns to glare at him almost instantly and snaps, "what about you then?"

"what about me?" donghyun's tone is harsher than the first one, though muffled because they're in an obviously packed of people morning bus. his lips pressed together and eyebrows furrowed in suppressed anger.

"whatever" woong mutters after a moment before turning back to his front, eyes blankly staring at nowhere. "i don't want to talk about it"

donghyun huffs, "you just always do whatever you want"

woong sighs exasperatedly but doesn't answer.

and the silence gets infuriating, almost unbearable. not that it's ever comfortable. donghyun contemplates moving from his seat to another empty one. but their stop comes right after and the two get off together, not saying a word as they walk into the entrance, keeping a safe distance between themselves. one that's not too close but not friendly either.

from far, donghyun hears his name being called so he looks at the direction, seeing donghan running up to him.

"why do you walk so fast?" the other says breathlessly, once he had caught up to him. donghan only notices woong at the side then and his expression widens to bewilderment when he leans into donghyun close enough to whisper into his ears. "did you come with him?"

donghyun pushes him off forcefully before nodding and raises an eyebrow questioningly, unsure as to why he's whispering.

donghan, still very much in suprise, manages a small smile to woong upon realising the way the older has been staring and woong returns it halfheartedly.

"i'll see you at home, donghyun" woong says and walks away from the two before donghyun can even reply.

infuriated, donghyun quickened on his pace to his class, leaving donghan behind that he screams for donghyun to wait for him.

"you really don't want to know who i saw at the cinema last weekend?" donghan asks, in a seriously annoying and taunting way that donghyun feels like yelling out of anger. today has just been a mix of annoyance, anger and frustration for donghyun that he's suprised at himself for being able to have that much rage inside of him.

back to donghan, he actually had been asking donghyun the same exact question since the morning.

the first time the question was asked, donghyun was still wearing down the rage he had for whatever happened between him and woong in the bus so he merely brushed donghan off with a very unamused expression. so donghan didn't tell. the second time was during lunch. they were in the line when donghan asked him again but donghyun was too busy looking at the menu for the day to even care so he only asked halfheartedly. again, donghan didn't tell. the other few times were during their shared classes. and they had three shared classes today. the misery, the pain, the infuriation.

it annoyed him to core that he felt like burying the other man eight feet under the earth and let him get eaten by whatever there is under the path they usually walk together everyday. despite all that, donghyun refuses to give donghan the satisfaction of successfully being annoying so he kept up his nonchalant facade the whole day.

until right now. "donghan!" he snaps, eyes glaring furiously at the other who's seated across him. "you've been pestering me all day. just tell me or don't at all"

"finally" donghan mutters. donghyun rolls his eyes, exasperated and annoyed as the other laughs. donghyun fights a strong urge to strangle him right then, exhaling a breath harshly in the process.

"i saw jeon woong"

donghyun makes a blank face, "so?" though in his head, woong's voice that told him he was practicing replayed itself like a chore.

"with park woojin. you know." donghan makes a pointed look. like donghyun is supposed to know something. but donghyun wears the same blank expression which makes donghan rubs his face out of frustration. "did you guys stop telling each other things after you break up?"

"what?" donghyun's face turns to confusion. stomach pulsing and churning as he stares at donghan. then he chuckles in full disbelief because donghan has to be fooling around again. "when did we broke up?" he says lightly, meaning for it to be a joke. he expects donghan to laugh along and brush it off, saying things like damn, i almost got you! like he usually would everytime he tried to pull pranks on donghyun. but there's none of that on donghan's face, just pure bewilderement. donghyun's laughters falter then, realising that donghan isn't pulling a prank. so he furrows his eyebrows together, face scrunching up in another serious confusion.

"oh my god" donghan finally gasps, dramatically so. his hands up to his mouth and everything. "so, you guys are still together?"

donghyun nods because of course. right? they're barely surviving on whatever they're on, yes but not yet broken up, atleast. now he has his attention fully on donghan and stares carefully for any sort of explanation. the essence of what he's hearing right because it's starting to feel absurd to him. 

"do you atleast know of the thing about woong and woojin?"

"now what the hell is that about?" donghyun says suddenly feeling annoyed all over again as he leans back to his chair with his hands crossed around his body. "are you sure you aren't just pulling all these out of your ass? i'm not falling for it, kim donghan"

donghan glares, "do i look like i'm joking?" he says through gritted teeth. donghyun shrugs, "i wouldn't be able to tell a difference, honestly"

"the whole department is talking about it, donghyun! don't tell me you don't know?"

"i'm never one to listen to campus gossip like you, kim donghan"

"well, maybe you should from now on!" donghan sneers when donghyun glares. silence engulfs them while donghyun stares down at the floor like it's the most interesting thing in the world as he tries to comprehend what he just heard. in a way, donghyun isn't entirely oblivious, he can put two and two together. sometimes he just choose not to. simply because he doesn't want to. but now, he thinks maybe it's time. maybe he should stop acting so oblivious.

"no wonder!" donghan voices randomly, interrupting his train of thoughts. donghyun looks at him expectantly when the other snaps his finger together. "i found it odd that you two came together earlier"

yeah, me too. donghyun wants to say. instead he smiles awkwardly. there's nothing much to say, anyway. there's no point in explaining things to donghan either because that would've taken a year to finish and right now donghyun is too mentally exhausted to do so.

"so you guys really are still a thing? then did i just caught him cheating on you?!"

"you can go out to watch a movie with a friend, you know" donghyun says after a pause of silence. he cringes at the obvious uncertainty in his voice. he's sure donghan can hear it too.

"not when the whole campus thinks they're dating, it's not"

yeah. donghyun thinks. maybe it's really not.

donghyun is almost done with his revision for the night when woong suddenly comes inside with a bright smile. "donghyun~" he slurs as he walks into donghyun's room and plops down at the empty spot next to him on fhe bed. the strong smell of alcohol easily spreads around the room that donghyun feels suffocated as he looks at the older questioningly. woong smiles and hugs him, hiding his face on donghyun's shoulder as he giggles, "i missed you"

god the smell is really making donghyun feel like committing a crime.

"why did you drink so much on a school night?did something happen?"

woong shakes his head, "nothing" he leans back to look at donghyun, eyes lazily lingering on his lips. "can i kiss you?" he asks before charging forward without even hearing donghyun's answer. donghyun lets out a yelp but doesn't push him away, instead kisses him back despite feeling his insides twisting in disgust at the obvious aftertaste of soju in woong's mouth. woong attempts to deepen the kiss but donghyun doesn't reciprocate causing him to pull away.

"you're drunk, woong" donghyun says, matter-of-factly.

woong huffs, "i've sobered up on my way home. i'm just tipsy"

"i'm not feeling it"

that causes woong's face to falter as he stares into donghyun's brown orbs with obviou disappointment before sighing and leans back on the bedhead. he fiddles with his fingers quietly as donghyun goes back to his reading before woong turns to look at him and speaks barely above whisper, like he's telling a big secret. "you know i love you, right?"

"do you? it doesn't really feel like that" donghyun answers almost nonchalant. his eyes still on the book but not actually reading it, just staring blankly.

woong sighs, donghyun isn't sure if he was supposed to hear that. "can i sleep here tonight?" the older asks instead.

"since when do you ever ask?" donghyun sneers and laughs, obviously bitter. "do whatever"

this time woong lets out an obvious exasperated sigh that gets donghyun turning to look at him. woong looks like shit, obviously so. his eyes bloodshot and cheeks tinted pink like every other drunk person would look like. and then the thought came to donghyun's mind.

"who's woojin, by the way?"

woong stiffs as he eyes donghyun, his face looks suprised at the question but his eyes are relaxed. like he had seen it coming. "a friend. his family owns a dance studio so we sometimes practice there"

"who's we?"

"me and the team..?" his voice falters, sounding so unsure it makes donghyun feels like laughing. it's probably because of the rising tension in the room but this entire situation feels like a joke to him.

"why did you ask? do you know woojin?" woong asks, after awhile. the questions rings through his ears like thunder, something that gets his skin prickling but not necessarily out of anger, just some sort of emotions.

donghyun picks up the abandoned book on his thighs (when did he even put it down?) before muttering as nonchalantly as possible, "the kids are talking about it. that you're dating him. apparently, the entire department knows but me"

"what are you implying?"

"nothing" donghyun pauses to look at woong blankly. the older is already looking at him, eyes filled with emotions he can't pinpoint. "really. it's just.." he sighs, "what are we doing, jeon woong?"

woong shrugs before randomly get off the bed as he mutters a simple "i'll go wash up"

and for the second time in a day, he left donghyun feeling angry, annoyed, frustrated, hurt. the walls between him and woong are made of steels at this point.

woong didn't come to his room that night. not a suprise at all. and he isn't around in the morning either. donghyun only barely sees him at night when he comes back from his practice. he never comes to donghyun's bed anymore. and donghyun don't even bother asking why anymore.

they're now back to the square one. not like they ever left the cycle.

it's sunday and woong left early morning after telling donghyun that he'd practicing all day. donghyun didn't ask where but woong said they'd be at the university's pratice room. how much of what he said is true, donghyun doesn't bother checking.

after deciding he had enough mopping around and feeling like a trapped housewife, donghyun leaves the house. he wanders mindlessly on the street until he realises he's already on a bus on the way to the other side of the town. to youngmin's home. so he takes his phone out to call the older. to tell him that he's coming and also because he feels the sudden urge to hear him, for whatever reason. (he misses youngmin)

youngmin doesn't pick up.

realization dawns him when he remembers youngmin telling him he has a weekend event. so he wouldn't be home to pick him downstairs. with a sigh, donghyun gets off in the middle of town, close enough to youngmin's home but not too far from his either. just incase if he needs to go back.

he settles in a decent diner selling noodles, suddenly having the craving for some. after awhile, he calls youngmin again. and the other picks up this time but there's loud noises in the background causing donghyun to tears the phone away from his ear and cringes.

"hey?" he says when the noises die down.

" _hey! i'm sorry. i'm still at the event"_

"oh, it's not over yet?" donghyun glances at his watch, it's almost 7 pm already.

" _nope_ " another noises. " _wait, i promise i'll call you back in 30 minutes. i'm really busy right now. bye!"_

and the call ends just like that. and a text comes in instead.

**woong** : _where are you? why aren't you home?_

donghyun scoff when he reads that and shoves his phone into his pocket, not bothering to reply. he goes back to staring at random people walking on the streets, so immersed in doing so too that he almost missed it when his phone rings. it can be just one person though so he answers mindlessly.

" _hey. i'm sorry! why did you call?"_

donghyun couldn't hide the smile creeping up to his face, "you spoke first!"

" _huh? oh. yeah, well. oh my god, i just realised"_ donghyun can only imagine how flustered youngmin looks. he laughs seriously until youngmin tells him to stop that he gradually stops. "do you still have to work?"

" _no, it ended. successfully too"_ youngmin giggles, sounding chirpier than he was a second ago. _"i got an off day for tomorrow too!"_

donghyun hums in the same excitement, "i'm so proud of you" he compliments brightly, "i want to give you a congratulatory hug"

" _come over then. i'll be home in 15 minutes"_

"i'm in town, actually. come here instead!" donghyun tries. though he'll probably be rejected because youngmin never wanted to hang out with him outside, for good reasons. he knows that too. there's a pause, a long pause that donghyun almost say nevermind but youngmin speaks. " _okay_ "

"REALLY?"

youngmin chuckles, " _yeah. text me your location! see you"_

and donghyun quickly does as told after youngmin ends the call, obviously excited while he waits for the other outside.

the moment youngmin gets out of the taxi, donghyun runs straight into his arm causing youngmin to lose balance that he almost fall on his back. "donghyun!" he calls in suprise but quickly hugs him back. donghyun laughs and looks up to him with sparkling eyes, "i missed you so much" 

"i thought this would be a congratulatory hug.." youngmin says in fake betrayal, voice still so loving though so it's a win. donghyun looks up to the other in a pout but doesn't deny that youngmin laughs and nuzzles his face on donghyun's shoulder before pulling away to give him a big smile. donghyun notices the obvious tiredness in youngmin's eyes though hidden slightly by the sparkle of fondness. donghyun feels his heart swelling up all of the sudden as he wraps his hands around youngmin's waist again.

"have you eaten?" youngmin asks, not hiding the huge smile on his face at the hug. donghyun nods simply and points to the diner. "is it good? i've never eaten here" youngmin asks again.

"it's fine.. not the best but not bad either" youngmin nods acknowledgingly that donghyun chuckles before asking, "you haven't yet?"

"i have from the event. so what do you want to do?"

donghyun buries his face into youngmin's chest again, "i don't know. i just want to hug you"

"then we should've met at home!" youngmin laughs as he puts his chin on donghyun's and says under fake shuddered breath,"could've had more freedom too"

donghyun sneers and playfully shoves the other away as they burst into fit laughters. he then takes youngmin's hand in his as they start walking along the street.

"i didn't expect you to agree, to be honest. i thought you'd say no"

"to what?"

"hanging out with me outside"

"oh" youngmin chuckles, "it's because you sounded like you'd cry if i said no"

donghyun glances at him with a pout, thinking the other said that to play around, as a light teasing.

but youngmin's expression is serious as he says, "you think i wouldn't know if you're upset? i atleast know that much about you, donghyun"

donghyun stops on his track, the pout turns into a frown. he finds himself physically unable to reply as he feels his chest getting heavier each seconds and his face warming up as tears begin to form. why is he chocking up?

youngmin notices seconds later when he feels himself getting pulled back so he quickly brings the younger into his arms, rubbing on his back softly while whispering sweet nothings just for donghyun to hear.

few moments later, they end up sitting on the grass in a park just few walks from youngmin's home with bubble tea in their hands. they sit in a comfortable silence facing the human made lake with youngmin resting his head on donghyun's shoulder lazily.

"do you feel better now?" youngmin carefully asks, breaking the silence. donghyun hums and smiles to no one. "you know you can tell me anything, right? you don't always have to wait for me to ask"

"i like it more when you ask. it feels like someone cares"

youngmin sits up straight, looking at him with widened eyes, "i always care!"

"no, i mean-" youngmin raises an eyebrow tauntingly causing donghyun to pause, pressing his lip into a thin line, "i made a mistake. i'm sorry"

youngmin huffs and pouts, wrapping his arms around his body before staring forward to the lake.

a brief silence falls between them before youngmin calls for him softly. donghyun hums in acknowledgement, taking the other's hand into his and squeezing on it lightly, telling him that he's listening.

"can i be honest?" youngmin pauses for donghyun to react. donghyun feels his heart dropping because that doesn't sound like it'd be anything good but he nods anyway, hands nervously fiddling with youngmin's. "i am trying my best to understand what you mean when you say you hate it but you just can't seem to let go and i don't think i ever will"

donghyun keeps his expression blank as he looks into youngmin's eyes. his usual honey dripping eyes are no longer fond but cold, unfamiliar, almost unapproachable. it hurts donghyun.

"this" youngmin takes his hand off from donghyun's grasp to point at the two of them, "started on nothing but lust. i'm not even ashamed to admit it because now it has bloomed into something i never thought it would and i'm happy, really. you make me the happiest, actually. it wasn't part of the plan but i wouldn't change anything from it" he laughs softly. "but are you?"

youngmin is never one to speak on his feelings verbally, one reason being because he's just not good with his words and another being he's just more comfortable with showing it through his actions instead. his love language is physical touches. he wants donghyun? he will show it. the first time, it bothers donghyun alot. when he realised he was catching feelings for youngmin but youngmin is just youngmin. he was indifferent. but soon, once he has learnt that one fact about the other, he started to notice the change in the way youngmin treats him. the way youngmin would touch him. the way youngmin kisses him. it's all different. sometimes donghyun would tease him by telling him things he knows youngmin wouldn't say back, like a simple i miss you. but then youngmin would embrace him tight and give him a soft kiss on the lips.

it's just the way youngmin is. donghyun has learnt to understand that about him.

so to hear youngmin talk about his feelings, it makes donghyun feel.., somewhat unsettling. though accomplished. because it feels like donghyun is a part of youngmin now. but the situation is complicated. because what youngmin is saying now sounds like a closure, like he's fishing for a good bye.

donghyun clicks on his tounge unconsciously that youngmin chuckles, "you're doing that again" he says.

donghyun raises an eyebrow questioningly.

"clicking your tongue. you've been doing it for awhile. you do that a lot when you're upset" youngmin shrugs, "anyway, that's that" he smiles, weakly. halfheartedly. doesn't meet the eye. "i just want you to be happy. if what we have now is the reason for your miserableness then i can let go"

there. what donghyun fears the most.

"i never said i was unhappy with you" donghyun finally say, ending his long silence. youngmin smiles softly at him as he asks lightly, "so what now?" it's meant to ease up the tension between them, to light up the sour mood. it works, of course. it always work with youngmin. but the lump in donghyun's throat doesn't leave.

"i don't know" donghyun sighs, now looking at youngmin helplessly. he unconsciously pouts that youngmin laughs and takes him into his embrace so donghyun's back is pressed on his chest comfortably. youngmin plays with donghyun's fingers softly and rests his head on top of his.

"it's hard to talk about it but once you do, you will realise that it's nothing" youngmin softly says. "all you need to do is talk"

donghyun lets out a long sigh as he leans back even more onto youngmin's shoulder so he can look at the other's face. youngmin has a straight expression while looking out at the open lake but his eyes aren't focused. he's in thoughts, deep thoughts. donghyun wants to know what.

"back then, the thought of woong makes me feel better when i'm sad. though he used to give me a hard time, he was still my comfort" donghyun says, after awhile. his voice almost like a whisper. just for youngmin to hear. it's raw and honest, it makes youngmin's heart ache. "but now whenever i think of him, it's hard. it drives me crazy. is it guilt? or anger?"

"you don't have to, you know" youngmin mutters quietly. "holding on to him. you don't have to do that"

donghyun smiles and nods, "i know, of course" he laughs though nothing is particularly funny. "it's just" he pauses, thinking of a word to describe it when youngmin interrupts, "complicated. hard. you said that alot too, you know?"

"it's all that but also" donghyun sighs, turning on his back to look at youngmin fully. he doesn't say anything as he stares.

"i love you"

"i love you"

they say at the same time, suprising themselves. their eyes widened and they start giggling in amusement, the tension slowly melting away.

"i love you, donghyun" youngmin repeats quietly in an assuring manner, once the laughters died down. donghyun blinks as he comprehends and before he can answer, youngmin leans in to kiss him, taking him by another suprise. "hey!" he mutters, hands flying up to cover his mouth.

"there's no one around!" youngmin whisper-shouts and donghyun eyes his surroundings. there's really no one around which truly, who'd be at the park at almost 10 pm? just him and youngmin. so donghyun puts his arms around youngmin's neck before kissing him slowly, taking his time when he feels youngmin running his tongue on donghyun's bottom lip and donghyun instantly gapes his mouth slightly for youngmin to easily slide his tongue inside. they make out sloppily, desperately in their own little space, hidden from the eye of the world.

the lack of air causes them to pull away and youngmin rests his head on donghyun's with his eyes closed. donghyun looks at him, seriously taking him in until youngmin opens his eyes and a smile creeps up to his face. he leans in again to give donghyun another kiss.

a warm, sweet and almost lingering kiss.


End file.
